3.06.2009

Web blog entry number Seven.

The day before yesterday, Axel found a bumbelbee in the sand, in the playground near our house. He showed it to me and I told him that the bumbelbee was dead. Axel has been very interested in bumbelbees lately, we have lots of clover on the lawn and there are bumbelbees everywhere and ofcourse they look like little fluffy cuddle balls with wings, mommies know they have a little bit of a bite to them too though when held in closed hands...

Anyway, after I told Axel the bumbelbee was dead, he looked at it for a while and then said to me ( in dutch, which I shall translate to english for your convenience ) "No mamma, it sleeps". Then I told him we'd better put it in the grass so it could continue to sleep in peace, which he did.

I don't know how much Axel understands when it comes to concepts of life and death, he has some idea. The other day, on the beach, he was playing with some beetle ( there were loads of them and they land on you )and after a while he had played it to death, I had warned him that he was too rough with the beetle, but he continued out of my sight ( I don't like critter torture ) Then he came to me and told me the beetle was "leet", which is Axels way of saying "leeg" which is "empty" in dutch. So the realisation that something animates the beetle and that it stopped is there.

I try not to sugercoat things too much and tell it like it is, but its difficult to come up with an explanation that speaks to a two year old. I think he said it pretty well himself, afterall, when something or someone dies, it is only the shell that remains, the body is empty of what it was that once animated it.

BR,
Amanda

11.04.2009

Web blog entry number Six.

I feel very optimistic right now with life in general. It could of course be the medicine - I am using a new american drug called Champix that blocks nicotine from working on my brain. Its a new experience since it does some weird stuff - for instance my nights have become high action drama events with every dream somehow much clearer and more vivid than normal. Its really weird!

It was all fine using this Cmapix until now when I actually had to quit with nicotine. I realized that this stuff doesn't block all the abstinence things making me feel really sick right now.

Anyway, I shall survive this time. Using nicotine is sooo purposeless and now when we have already survived the first part of the financial crisis and we finally got round with healthy-living and I got my old motivation back again to train, it doesn't fit to my life anymore.

Turning 40 of course makes training a bit more troublesome. You realize by now that the injury you sustained while playing football as a 16 year old doesn't go anywhere, and you will have to accept that slight pain in your elbow left over from that fall 10 years back. All in all, both you and your body have collected some "memories", both good and bad that will make training a bit more complex.

I started running a few months back but it didn't work out because of pain in my feet. So now after resting for a while I tried to combine gym with biking and for the first time in my life TAKE IT EASY and not start maxing after the first session. And so far its working - I am still in one piece and the kilo's are dropping! I went from 85 to about 80 already - good start!

BR,
Terje

I also have some stuff to talk about. Freya's surgery for example, went well and the doctor fixed her navel hernia and said he is "hopeful" that this time they managed to fix the reflux using an injection with collagen.

We have, like Terje said, started living more healthy, I am reading a very inspiring book by Ray Kurzweil and Dr.Terry Grossman called Fantastic-voyage ( Live long enough to live forever ) and we have started following his advise as much as possible in our life situation and I have to say, I feel great. I have never been a believer in this " death is part of life" theory some people would like to have you believe and am so happy I finally found someone who thinks just like me and then to be able to actively do something about staying healthy and alive long, it feels great! I have lost about 7 kilo's already and I know this time I will actually manage to keep them lost cos this is not just a diet, its a life style and its one I can really find myself in. I can recommend everyone to read the book and their upcoming new book TRANSCEND: Nine Steps to Living Well Forever.

BR,
Amanda

Interesting links:
Fantastic-voyage.net
Ray & Terry's Longevity products

2.03.2009

Web blog entry number Five.

Wow, the doctor called and things aren't as bad as we feared, the reflux isn't gone, but it is not as bad as it was, it is now 2 on both sides instead of the 3 and 5 she had earlier. This problem does not require another operation, it does however require further action. We agreed now that Freya will have an operation for her hernia umbilicalis (navel ring hernia) and during this procedure they will also inject some medicine into either the bladder or the uretra, I am not sure anymore, its a similar procedure to STING with teflon, just not with teflon.

And now for something completely different, according to a doctor in malacology (snails and such) my snail is actually a rare find, it is a snail from the species Deroceras reticulatum and he had not seen an albino from this species before this one.

BR,
Amanda

28.02.2009

Web blog entry number Four.

So, I am not even appologizing for not writing anymore. The stuff we have been going through it just ain't funny. Half a year post operation and the verdict is out. It didn't work...

At the moment we feel a bit lost, frustrated and sad. We are still waiting for the surgeon to comment his work and tell us what the next step will be. We have some ideas ofcourse, I have searched the web for similar situations. There is some stuff. But more on that when I have more things I can tell for sure.

We walked through the forest today and found this white naked snail, you can see pictures here. Not something you see everyday hm?

BR,
Amanda

23.09.2008

Web blog entry number Three.

Today we had a post-operation check up in the hospital for Freya. The doctor was looking for signs if the little holes they made in the bladder, where now the ureter tubes end, had narrowed or even closed (by ultra sound). This we would be able to see because then the kidneys would be full of fluids as the urine can't go anywhere. But luckily this was not the case, the kidneys were not infected and the doctor was genuinly pleased with what he was seeing on the ultra sound pictures. Freya got a picture of her left kidney as a souvenir ;)

Needless to say that this whole excersize was very stressfull for poor little snutta. She was in panic before anything started and refused to go into the examination room. I tried to explain to here that this time it wouldn't hurt, that no needles were involved that it was just Freya-belly-tv. At some point she just gives up fighting, somehow I doubt that it is because she finds it less scary, its more like she realizes that resitance is futile...

Good news though, step two passed, up to step three, which will take place in a month, its another ultra sound, step four is an ultra sound in six weeks after that and step five is another MCU in eight weeks from that, then the antibiotics will be stopped when things look like they are fully functional and then we hope for the best!

BR,
Amanda

21.09.2008

Web blog entry number Two.

September is here and we have red numbers popping up like poppie-flowers when I open up our bank account.

It is some kind of law of nature that has absolutely nothing to do with economics: after summer all the money you didn't spend will fall down from the banks penny-tree and wither away. I know this for a fact now, since we hardly spent any money at all during the summer, all locked up as we were, trapped in the hospital with Freya.

Spending your complete vacation listening to other peoples children crying away the nights was a new experience for me. Not that I am complaining, I didn't have to lie still for 10 days(!), strapped to a bed, unable to move, like my daughter. But it surely gives you a rather heavy feeling when you have to be alert and back in work again. It feels like someone stole something from you, and it feels like it is a shame you can't meet this person because you'd rather like to tell him or her some carefully selected words...

Freya is doing better now. She is regaining some weight and she is up to no good again. She's still very tired but I can see the old Freya returning gradually. She really is one tough cookie! It is sad that so many bad things need to happen to such an innocent, brittle, smallie. She's been through more than the rest of us together and she's only three.

So I really hope things will work out from now on.

Terje

16.09.2008

Web blog entry number One.

We have started a new blog, a common blog as it were, so since the last blog gets updated more frequently by either Terje or myself. From now on you can read here about our news, our thoughts and feelings that we like to share.

Since last I wrote, things have changed, a lot. Freya has been diagnosed with epilepsy and gets medicated for it. And after a long period of going in and out of the hospital with bacterial infections followed by an organic fungus infection ( caused by all the antibiotics ) Freya was also diagnosed with reflux, this is when the urine flows back up to the kidneys. In Freya's case it was so severe that it would not have been possible to heal by itself anymore so she had to have an operation which she has had meanwhile. The surgeon said the operation went exactly the way he wishes an operation to be so that sounds hopeful. These surgeries have an 98 percent chance of being succesful.

Its a complicated procedure and it took 1 hour and 45 minutes, followed by ten days of being strapped to a bed with three drains...

Anyway, she is home now, she will need to take antibiotics for half a year after which another MCU is needed( test for reflux )to see if it really worked.

Axel is growing like crazy, his teeth give him some problems, specifically since yesterday when he fell from a small stairs and he jammed his two front teeth halfway back into his jawbone, the are kind of skewed aswell. I took him to the dentist this morning to check the seriousness of the damage ( for Axel its very serious, he points to his mouth on regular bases and says " ai, ai " )and the dentist said they didn't have to do anything now but keep an eye on it, it will most likely grow back by itself.

*sigh*

We are all suffering from post-hospital-fatigue, but I promise to keep the site better updated from now on, and if not me then Terje will.

BR,
Amanda


Interesting links:
About reflux: http://www.urologyhealth.org/pediatric/index.cfm?cat=01&topic=155 ( In English )
MCU: http://www.deflux.com/Templates/Page.aspx?id=10975 ( Auf Deutsch )